Tariff, baby, tariff!

Who will care about $8 eggs when strawberries cost $20?? Wheeee!!!

Saturday February 1, 2025

On days like this it is good to remember this observation from the Lincoln Project’s Rick Wilson: “We’re not overwhelmed, we’re under attack.” Yup. From our own government. Holy hell.

In that vein, a quick one tonight for a word on the stupidest economic self-own by a US president ever.

Today Trump, who, historically, pretty much breaks every promise that he makes, for some monomaniacal reason – and also because he is an ignorant manbaby sociopath - kept his ludicrous one to impose 25% tariffs on our two biggest trading partners and allies, Mexico and Canada. He also imposed just a 10% tariff on our actual adversary, China, because President Musk’s businesses import a lot of stuff from China.

To justify this insanity, Trump made up bullshit reasons, like, as reported in the Washington Post, that Canada’s supposed failure to take tougher action against fentanyl operations amounted to “an extraordinary threat” against the US (WTF??), and that Mexico’s government had an “intolerable alliance” with drug cartels.

As with everything with Trump amounted to a big, err – remembering we’re dealing with Trump - little swinging dick contest. Fortunately for our neighbors to the north and south, they have leaders who do not suffer from the same obvious raging insecurities.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau spoke directly to the American people, noting that the Trump tariffs will “put your jobs at risk, potentially shutting down American auto assembly plants and other manufacturing facilities. They will raise costs for you, including food at the grocery stores and gas at the pump.” Trudeau, smartly, announced a 25% tariff on more than $100 billion imported US goods starting Tuesday, including, ahem, Florida orange juice, Kentucky bourbon, and Tennessee whiskey, with more US imports to follow shortly.

Badass Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum says Mexico will impose tariffs of its own, noting that if the US really gave a flying f*ck about fentanyl, maybe it could “combat the sale of narcotics on the streets of their major cities, which they do not do.” Ouch.

The US Chamber of Commerce, the most slavishly subservient to the Republican party of any organization ever, with the possible exception of the NRA, has commenced to pants shitting. They put out a statement saying that the imposition of tariffs is unprecedented “and will only raise prices for American families and upend supply chains.” Uh-huh. If only someone could have warned them. (Insert head into egg salad left out in boiling sun for 3 days.)

And here’s the Trump-loving National Association of Manufacturers: “A 25% tariff on Canada and Mexico threatens to upend the very supply chains that have made U.S. manufacturing more competitive globally. The ripple effects will be severe, particularly for small and medium-sized manufacturers…Ultimately, manufacturers will bear the brunt of these tariffs, undermining our ability to sell our products at a competitive price and putting American jobs at risk.” Ya think????

The Rupert Murdoch-owned Wall Street Journal, whose editorial board is so far up Trump’s ass it is running into MAGA Mike Johnson in that God-forsaken toxic cavity, has pronounced Trump’s 25% tariffs on Mexico and Canada “The Dumbest Trade War in History.” Seriously. Didn’t anyone but us believe this horrific twice-impeached rapist criminal seditionist who pledged retribution and anarchy was going to deliver it???

Apparently not. Even Kentucky Senator Rand Paul is surprised. This Russian asset/freaking idiot/wearer of the worst toupee in DC proves the old maxim that even a blind squirrel can find a nut ever once in a while, tweeting tonight that “tariffs are simply taxes. Conservatives once united against taxes. Taxing trade will mean less trade and higher prices.” Well, yeah, duh. But conservatives once united against big government before they wanted it in our bedrooms and our medicine cabinets. Conservative used to mean conserving institutions and traditions. Conservatism is dead. There is only Trumpism/authoritarianism and, while Paul, and the US Chamber of Commerce, and the NAM and all these pro-business/hate the libs groups are off the reservation on the tariff stuff, they’re stuck with it. Hope the tax cuts and the shit-canning of regulations were worth blowing up the global economy and sending democracy down the shitter. Buy the ticket, take the ride you assholes.

So how does the madness end? From a White House official as quoted in the Washington Post: “The US tariffs will remain in place until the president determines that the three countries have taken sufficient action to address the U.S. complaints. In Donald Trump’s golden age, we will have only legal immigration and we will have zero Americans dying from Chinese/Mexican/Canadian fentanyl.” In other words, they have no worldly idea what they’re doing. God help us.

Extra Credit:

Elon Musk and his ridiculous goons at the made-up Department of Government Efficiency were, by newly installed Treasury Secretary/stooge Scott Bessent, (and here we though he was one of the non-authoritarian ones. Damn.) given access to the federal payment system. As Stuart Stevens points out, “This amounts to the most significant data leak in cyber history. Private individuals in the data business now have access to your Social Security information. This violates data privacy laws in every state.” Cool. Cool.

While we rightly shudder and stress over the assaults on our civil liberties and the crumbling of our democratic institutions, it’s important to remember Trump is not just assaulting us.

From ProPublica: “On Friday morning, the staffers at a half dozen U.S.-funded medical facilities in Sudan who care for severely malnourished children had a choice to make: Defy President Donald Trump’s order to immediately stop their operations or let up to 100 babies and toddlers die They chose the children. In spite of the order, they will keep their facilities open for as long as they can, according to three people with direct knowledge of the situation. The people requested anonymity for fear that the administration might target their group for reprisals. Trump’s order also meant they would stop receiving new, previously approved funds to cover salaries, IV bags and other supplies. They said it’s a matter of days, not weeks, before they run out.” The American people elected a psychopath. The world will suffer for it.

Ketamine-addled weirdo Elon Musk, in response to some asshole posting on not-Twitter “DOGE is speedrunning government reform - $4B/day in cuts could start THIS weekend. Bureaucracy never saw it coming,” replied: “Very few in the bureaucracy actually work the weekend, so it’s like the opposing team leaves the field for 2 days!” JFC this POS. Is there anyone with a brain around this vile creep? Does he know that 85% of the federal workforce is outside of the DC metro area? Like the park rangers in the national parks, and the meat inspectors, and the TSA agents, and the air traffic controllers, and the doctors and nurses who work at the VA hospitals. Are they the opposing team FFS????? What the hell is wrong with these people??

Thanks so much for reading and stay safe and healthy everyone!!! Remember we are not the crazy ones!!!